I am so glad that my personal blog is able to host a discussion on this very important subject. However, some clarification needs to be made in order to keep the discussion on track and accurate.
This issue is about my right to breastfeed my baby without using a blanket, outside of the offered mother’s lounge and the sexualizing of nursing.
With regards to my breastfeeding: Any time I nurse my child in a public environment, gratuitous nudity is the farthest thing from my mind. I am concerned with my baby’s needs being met and keeping my breast and stomach covered as best as they can be in that order.
With regards to my husband’s and my meeting with the bishop: We are not publicly denouncing or criticizing our bishop. This is Maria’s personal blog and while it can be found by performing a Google search, we have done no advertising of it. The only people in our ward who are aware of any of this mess are the bishop, the Relief Society president, the people directly involved and those they may have consulted. Handled properly, the Relief Society president most likely would not even have had to be bothered. And as far as the bishop, we still sustain him – we’re not asking for him to be excommunicated or released. We are not even asking other people to breastfeed openly. We are just defending our individual right and helping others understand if needs be.
There is no statement official (or unofficial) about breastfeeding “uncovered”. In all the number of church talks/articles given about pornography, not one has ever mentioned anything about breastfeeding. Also, the state of Utah where the prophet and a host of members reside has a law that gives and protects the right to breastfeed uncovered.
I personally believe that Eve was asked of the Lord to make an apron - not an apron and a shirt while Adam remained in just an apron. The Lord never intended for a woman’s breasts to be thought of as sexual objects.
Anonymous and Husband:
*The only “facilities” required to nurse a child is a lactating breast.
*The time and place for nurturing my child is right when and where my child needs it – not right where, when and how indifferent people would like it.
*I take great pride in being a Mormon feminist. What, may I ask is wrong about being a “Mormon feminist”?
“What more could a Bishop hope for than a woman in his congregation to point out to him when he may be missing the point of the Spirit's promptings. Who needs the priesthood?”
*It is not the bishop’s priesthood that determines his spiritual promptings but rather his calling as bishop and his personal worthiness to receive revelation for his ward. Had the bishop even said "I have prayed about this (he never specifically mentioned praying about it) and the issues in this ward at this time necessitate nursing moms to use a blanket or the lounge." it would then be a no-brainer that this ward is not for us and we can move on to a different ward. But to just state that it is INAPROPRIATE to nurse uncovered in sacrament meeting doesn't relay spiritual promptings to me. Instead, it was presented as a trigger for pornography problems and a cultural preference.
*In regards to the smoking comparison: It isn't like I am inviting him to join me! For example, a smoker is on his way to work and passes a few people smoking on the way. They aren't asking him to join; they're just doing their own thing. But he needs to learn how to keep himself from being tempted by the sight.
“This issue is about modesty when breast feeding, NOT ABOUT THE RIGHT OF A MOTHER TO BREAST FEED, so stop taking offense and get over it.”
*(Italics mine) Interesting that I am told to “stop taking offense and get over it” when this problem has only been dumped in my lap because other people were offended by my discreet nursing! Because of how things have turned out, we feel as though we are on parole or probation, being watched for the slightest bare skin how ever incidental or insignificant it may be. Definitely, that is not the type of spirit that you want to be feeling at a church meeting or activity.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Monday, February 26, 2007
*From the Desk of Tuan
My beloved friends,
I welcome this opportunity to say a few words about the very excellent comments to which we have read and pondered. Good counsel has been given from which we and others can benefit immensely. I am grateful for the emphasis on the acceptance of breastfeeding in general. How marvelous a thing it is to contemplate the divinity and design of womanhood. I wish you to know that we appreciate your love and concern.
Let me make it clear that I do love my wife Maria and our children tremendously. And I wholeheartedly support her in this effort. At times, I have a twinge of jealousy when I witness the special bond that she has with our two dear children, Emma and Daniel. But how comforting it is to have the knowledge that it is a mutual love shared both ways from mother to child and from child to mother.
Obviously, the meeting with our bishop left us disappointed and frustrated. Please understand that we both have great respect for this man. Though, at times, he can be quite patriarchal. But that is to be expected to a point considering his calling and fatherhood to his own children. The meeting went in circles with no resolution or compromise. It seems that having consulted with the stake president beforehand, the bishop was set on standing firm and steadfast to the counsel received from a higher authority. Maria’s suggestion of education, i.e. hold a fireside for youth and parents about the evils of pornography and the true purpose and design of the human body, was met with opposition because of the possibility that it may be perceived as agreement to breastfeeding without a blanket.
The one part of the conversation that bothered me most was when we were discussing cultural acceptance. From his experience and circle of influence, breastfeeding “openly” is not accepted in our region or in the Midwest where he served his mission. Maria explained that this is a perfect opportunity to educate and change the cultural perception of breasts to one in which God intended – the nurturing and comforting of children. The bishop replied saying that we cannot change a culture. To which, I replied that the change can begin with one. However, he reiterated that one cannot change a whole culture.
What a hopeless feeling! How insignificant is the one? Alone in action and thought? What difference can one possibly make among hundreds, thousands, even millions? I would think that any member of this Church would say that the one is very important and holds a great potential as a child of God. You only need to look at the restoration of the gospel and the establishment of this Church to see the importance of one young man and his courage among persecution and tribulation. And let us never overlook the great sacrifice of the Chosen One who made the Atonement possible. This Church, this gospel, brings hope to each person – a hope that we are special, that Heavenly Father still cares for us.
Perhaps, I have too much trust in the strength and courage of the human soul. But I must and do believe that there is a divine nature within each of us. We have such tremendous potential with that quality. Everyone was endowed by our Father in Heaven with a tremendous capacity to do good in the world.
For those that do struggle with pornography or any other problem, let us train our minds and our hands that we may be equipped to serve well in the society of which we are a part. Let us refine within ourselves the divine qualities and attributes which we have inherited. May we rise above any ill feelings or contention, and allow the light within to shine through as a radiant expression of God’s purpose and design. Though it may seem daunting as the one among hundreds, thousands, even millions, may the seeds we plant today change one heart, one mind…one culture.
I thank you for the goodness of your lives, for the desire within your hearts to do the right thing, for the fact that you are prayerful and kind and good.
Sincerely,
Tuan(The frog that Maria transformed into a prince with her loving kiss)
I welcome this opportunity to say a few words about the very excellent comments to which we have read and pondered. Good counsel has been given from which we and others can benefit immensely. I am grateful for the emphasis on the acceptance of breastfeeding in general. How marvelous a thing it is to contemplate the divinity and design of womanhood. I wish you to know that we appreciate your love and concern.
Let me make it clear that I do love my wife Maria and our children tremendously. And I wholeheartedly support her in this effort. At times, I have a twinge of jealousy when I witness the special bond that she has with our two dear children, Emma and Daniel. But how comforting it is to have the knowledge that it is a mutual love shared both ways from mother to child and from child to mother.
Obviously, the meeting with our bishop left us disappointed and frustrated. Please understand that we both have great respect for this man. Though, at times, he can be quite patriarchal. But that is to be expected to a point considering his calling and fatherhood to his own children. The meeting went in circles with no resolution or compromise. It seems that having consulted with the stake president beforehand, the bishop was set on standing firm and steadfast to the counsel received from a higher authority. Maria’s suggestion of education, i.e. hold a fireside for youth and parents about the evils of pornography and the true purpose and design of the human body, was met with opposition because of the possibility that it may be perceived as agreement to breastfeeding without a blanket.
The one part of the conversation that bothered me most was when we were discussing cultural acceptance. From his experience and circle of influence, breastfeeding “openly” is not accepted in our region or in the Midwest where he served his mission. Maria explained that this is a perfect opportunity to educate and change the cultural perception of breasts to one in which God intended – the nurturing and comforting of children. The bishop replied saying that we cannot change a culture. To which, I replied that the change can begin with one. However, he reiterated that one cannot change a whole culture.
What a hopeless feeling! How insignificant is the one? Alone in action and thought? What difference can one possibly make among hundreds, thousands, even millions? I would think that any member of this Church would say that the one is very important and holds a great potential as a child of God. You only need to look at the restoration of the gospel and the establishment of this Church to see the importance of one young man and his courage among persecution and tribulation. And let us never overlook the great sacrifice of the Chosen One who made the Atonement possible. This Church, this gospel, brings hope to each person – a hope that we are special, that Heavenly Father still cares for us.
Perhaps, I have too much trust in the strength and courage of the human soul. But I must and do believe that there is a divine nature within each of us. We have such tremendous potential with that quality. Everyone was endowed by our Father in Heaven with a tremendous capacity to do good in the world.
For those that do struggle with pornography or any other problem, let us train our minds and our hands that we may be equipped to serve well in the society of which we are a part. Let us refine within ourselves the divine qualities and attributes which we have inherited. May we rise above any ill feelings or contention, and allow the light within to shine through as a radiant expression of God’s purpose and design. Though it may seem daunting as the one among hundreds, thousands, even millions, may the seeds we plant today change one heart, one mind…one culture.
I thank you for the goodness of your lives, for the desire within your hearts to do the right thing, for the fact that you are prayerful and kind and good.
Sincerely,
Tuan(The frog that Maria transformed into a prince with her loving kiss)
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Albrect Durer
1519
Well friends - the news is not very good. *sigh* My bishop did indeed send the RS pres to my home. I'm not exactly sure how to re-cap the evening, but I made a list of things we agreed on and things we disagreed on.
Agree:
*Nursing is not pornagraphy
*This issue is not entirely mine
We disagree on:
*He (and the stake pres agrees) feels that nursing in Sacrament Meeting is only appropriate with a blanket.
*He feels that any incidental flash of skin resulting from my nursing will/could be a 'trigger' for a man dealing with pornagraphy issues. Sort of like dangling a ciggy in front of a recent quitter. What about ppl with foot (or other often exposed body parts) fetishes? No one is being asked to keep their feet covered all of the time.
*When pressed, he found that the only solution in this issue in for me to use a blanket to "cover myself" while I nurse in mixed company - RS is not an issue.
*It is obvious that to him my refusal to use a blanket (while reiterating my efforts to always be as discreet as possible) clearly shows a lack of respect/understanding/cooperation/considration/compromise on my part
*He asserts that there are two ways to nurse - in the mother's lounge and "covered" (using a blanket). The third would be "uncovered" (his term).
*He and the rest of the ward can't possibly be the only ones with this negative and uncomfortable attitude towards nip. It's everywhere. (It is NOT in Oklahoma where I lived until just recently!)
*I assert that attitudes towards nip have indeed changed in the past 20 years
*He does not consider the normalizing of nip and breastfeeding in general to be a positive change.
*I CAN make a difference even though I am only one!
To sum up: He cannot force me to use a blanket, and I don't think that at this point he even knows what he would do if I continue as I have been. But he assured me I would be contacted should he later recieve a tip that an individual he is specifically working with on porn/infidelity issues has been negatively "affected" by my nursing "uncovered".
It seems to be an issue of exposed skin. If I nurse in the mother's lounge the odds that they might see any flesh are 100:1. If I nurse among them but using a blanket, the odds of maybe seeing flesh are then 50:1. Finally, if I nurse among them discreetly but without a blanket, the odds are suddenly 15:1 in favor of seeing skin. These are apparently odds they are uncomfortable with facing.
To quote a friend of mine "Why do we (society) insist on casting men as slobbering monsters just champing at the bit to rape and pillage. How disrespectful to one of God's creations to deny that they have free will and the ability to choose their own actions."
My wise sister told me that "when a person already is addicted to pornography, you cannot be held responsible for triggering that. Better not take any kids to church to trigger latent pedophiles. It's a slippery slope." I couldn't agree more.
One other thing he said is that if he were to declare as bishop of the ward that nursing in public without a blanket in mixed comp is NOT a problem, there would be a major fall-out. How rediculouse is it that a declaration that nursing naturaly and w/out shame would result in a spiritual calamity! It certainly does feel hopeless at this point.
"The scriptures often refer respectfully but plainly to the body and its parts. There is no embarrassment and often there is sacred symbolism. It is the world that makes the divinely created body an object of carnal lust. For example, it makes the female breasts primarily into sexual enticements, while the truth is that they were intended to nourish and comfort children. It promotes male sexual aggression in contrast to Christ’s example of tenderness, long-suffering, kindness, and steadfastness in the home.
Shame about the human body, its parts and purposes, is justified only when a person uses it for carnal purposes. Teach your children that they will find joy in their bodies when they use them virtuously after the manner taught by Christ."
A Parent's Guide, p. 37
found on the official church website
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Emma bowseh
Just the other day I was looking something up on the internet when I heard the juiciest poots coming from one of my children! Quite surprised I turned and saw just what was making all of the racket. My 23 month old Emma was expertly blowing loud raspberries on my 3 month old Daniel's exposed tummy! After each blowfish, Daniel would giggle and smile while Emma proudly declared "Emma bowseh!" Coincidently, before Daniel was born Emma adored giving my swelling belly blowfish. Perhaps this is how she perfected the skill. Ahhh - the wonderful world of parenthood. I absolutely love it!
Check out this link. I find that unfortunately I am not alone in my recent experience.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
How has our society become so corrupted and screwed up?
If you are thinking - whoa, a two-year old said that? please let me clarify. I am not giving this post an Emma-ism title because it is a very serious post and not to be made light of.
Joel 2:16
Gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children, and those that suck the breasts: let the bridegroom go forth of his chamber, and the bride out of her closet. (King James version)
A while back, I read a thread on a message board about a mother and her friend who were accosted by their church over nursing myspace photos. These wonderful mommas were accused of "mentally raping" the men in their congregation by having "pornographic" pictures on their personal myspace accounts and nursing in church. I was so upset for them and proud of how they handled the attacks. Privately, I was so relieved that it wasn't me.
It is me now. I just received a visit from a member of my congregation. She (a woman, no less) came bearing cookies and the news that I was corrupting the "young men" in my congregation by nursing around them. She told me that even our bishop (head of the congregation) has been made "uncomfortable" and didn't feel up to telling me himself. After repeating that she is "all for nursing - nursed 4 children myself", I was left wondering - "why then did you not tell him to stop sexualizing the nursing of my children"? Or in other words - go stuff it! No, she left my house begging me not to be offended.
Apparently there have been several calls to the bishop by women in the congregation that they were concerned for their son's eternal salvation. (Ok, I don't really know what they said to him, but that's the gist of it.) All of the offended parties wanted her to ask me to hide my dirty self and my dirty act of nursing away from their precious son's pure eyes. Those are my words, again - you get the gist.
How did I handle this? I refused to agree to nurse in the bathroom - excuse me, "mothers lounge". I insisted that I was doing nothing wrong, immoral or pornographic. She actually dared to imply that by nursing my children I was being pornographic! I replied that it was very sad indeed that me doing the most natural thing in the world and using my breasts for their God given purpose was bothering them so much. I said that the youth need to see people breastfeeding as it is perfectly NORMAL!! I told her to consider me asked and after she left, I promptly threw the cookies into the trash. I have called the bishop and set up an appointment for Tuan and I to meet with him. Make no mistake, I will be prepared. I will not dissolve into angry tears in front of him. I will to be calm, collected and get my point across. This problem belongs to others. They are projecting their insecurities and archaic beliefs onto me.
One of the worst outcomes of this mess is that I don't know who complained about me to the bishop. And you know they would have had the guts to call him unless they were sure someone else felt the same way. So, yes, my breasts have been gossiped about. But who? My good friend sitting next to me. The sister that I never got along with? Maybe the sister I lent my EC book to. The ladies who are performing with me in a couple weeks? How can I not be hurt and offended?
This is NOT pornography! These are beautiful pictures of me nurturing and feeding my children.
Daniel - 5 minutes old
Emma (24 mos) & Daniel (4 mos)
Emma - 21 months old
Joel 2:16
Gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children, and those that suck the breasts: let the bridegroom go forth of his chamber, and the bride out of her closet. (King James version)
A while back, I read a thread on a message board about a mother and her friend who were accosted by their church over nursing myspace photos. These wonderful mommas were accused of "mentally raping" the men in their congregation by having "pornographic" pictures on their personal myspace accounts and nursing in church. I was so upset for them and proud of how they handled the attacks. Privately, I was so relieved that it wasn't me.
It is me now. I just received a visit from a member of my congregation. She (a woman, no less) came bearing cookies and the news that I was corrupting the "young men" in my congregation by nursing around them. She told me that even our bishop (head of the congregation) has been made "uncomfortable" and didn't feel up to telling me himself. After repeating that she is "all for nursing - nursed 4 children myself", I was left wondering - "why then did you not tell him to stop sexualizing the nursing of my children"? Or in other words - go stuff it! No, she left my house begging me not to be offended.
Apparently there have been several calls to the bishop by women in the congregation that they were concerned for their son's eternal salvation. (Ok, I don't really know what they said to him, but that's the gist of it.) All of the offended parties wanted her to ask me to hide my dirty self and my dirty act of nursing away from their precious son's pure eyes. Those are my words, again - you get the gist.
How did I handle this? I refused to agree to nurse in the bathroom - excuse me, "mothers lounge". I insisted that I was doing nothing wrong, immoral or pornographic. She actually dared to imply that by nursing my children I was being pornographic! I replied that it was very sad indeed that me doing the most natural thing in the world and using my breasts for their God given purpose was bothering them so much. I said that the youth need to see people breastfeeding as it is perfectly NORMAL!! I told her to consider me asked and after she left, I promptly threw the cookies into the trash. I have called the bishop and set up an appointment for Tuan and I to meet with him. Make no mistake, I will be prepared. I will not dissolve into angry tears in front of him. I will to be calm, collected and get my point across. This problem belongs to others. They are projecting their insecurities and archaic beliefs onto me.
One of the worst outcomes of this mess is that I don't know who complained about me to the bishop. And you know they would have had the guts to call him unless they were sure someone else felt the same way. So, yes, my breasts have been gossiped about. But who? My good friend sitting next to me. The sister that I never got along with? Maybe the sister I lent my EC book to. The ladies who are performing with me in a couple weeks? How can I not be hurt and offended?
This is NOT pornography! These are beautiful pictures of me nurturing and feeding my children.
Daniel - 5 minutes old
Emma (24 mos) & Daniel (4 mos)
Emma - 21 months old
Friday, February 09, 2007
Mommy no baby nurse. Pat baby back.
Today Daniel rolled over! He has been toying with the idea for a week or two now. He would roll to his side and then get stuck on his arm. Today he was laying on his side and all of a sudden rolled to him tummy and popped his head up. He seemed quite proud of himself and wiggled around as if to show off. He sure is a handsome little guy, isn't he!
Daniel was feeling really tired this afternoon so I decided to nurse him and see if he wanted to go to sleep. Emma decided that Mommy needed to do something different. So she told me "Mommy, no baby nurse. Pat baby back." Well, I'm lazy and didn't feel like standing and walking around while patting Daniel's back. So I nursed him. And he fell asleep in 2 minutes!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Oh, bummer!
A few weeks back, I checked out a book from the library. It's called "The Best Mouse Cookie". I'm not a fan, lets just say. It's okay, but rather annoying. Emma LOVES it! After it went back to the library, she kept asking for the "mouse boot". I decided to order "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" for her birthday because I like it and it is a "mouse boot", if not the mouse boot. At least once each day, she will ask where the mouse boot is. I tell her that it is in the mail. "Oh bummer", she says! Emma knows that I check my e-mail to see if Tuan has left work yet and says "daddy come home" every time I get on the computer. Yesterday I got online and she said "daddy bring mouse boot". I told her that daddy didn't have the mouse book - "oh bummer!"
Sunday, February 04, 2007
bus sing!
Ok - time is up! Have you guessed what the title series is about?
Emma has come up with her own way of requesting songs. She says the name of the song and then sing. So when she wants to sing "The Wheels On The Bus" she will say "bus sing".
Emma asked to have her leopard tied on her like I was slinging Daniel. A frequent request, as many of you avid blog readers know! So I tied it on and tried to get a picture. It's not the best as I was taking it myself, but you get the idea. Oh, and please ignore the crater of a zit on my chin! It really was too big to photoshop out! Hee, hee.
Friday, February 02, 2007
shh, shh, shh!
Last night I went to book club! The exclamation mark is used because it is the first one I was actually able to attend since moving. I had read at least 2 other books, but something always came up and I wasn't able to make it. I love reading and have really missed my Oklahoma book club.
It is a great book club and I had a wonderful time. The book that we read was To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. One member of the group brought an O magazine that had an article about/by Harper Lee. Surprising, because she has been relatively media silent most of her life. A new Capote movie with Sandra Bullock is coming out. Sandra plays Harper Lee who was good friends with Capote from childhood. Lee says that the character of Dill was inspired by Capote. There is even a "rumor", if you will, that Capote wrote Mockingbird! At times he has denied it and at other times he hasn't. Hmm. *cough* phooey *cough* I thought this was very interesting information that I had never heard before. I also didn't realize that the movie "To Kill A Mockingbird" was made just one short year after the book's release. That would make it 1961, (I think) and 1961 America was definitely still very much segregated. It gives an interesting new take on the movie, don't you think?
At one point in the discussion, I had an 80 yr young lady on my right saying something and a 60 yr young lady disagreeing on my left. It was very interesting to hear life experience vs. education.
My favorite thing about the book was it's subtle promotion of unschooling ideas. Scout goes to first grade where she is told that she shouldn't be able to read, that Atticus (her dad) has tought her all wrong and that the dewey dicimal system is the only correct way for children to learn! Throughout the book Scout, Jem and Dill learn through playing together, reading with Atticus and being around people in their town. The only things they learn in school are not tought by their teachers, but by being around other children. I really liked this because I am leaning heavily towards unschooling my children.
All fun stuff! Next month: A Tree Grows In Brooklyn
It is a great book club and I had a wonderful time. The book that we read was To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. One member of the group brought an O magazine that had an article about/by Harper Lee. Surprising, because she has been relatively media silent most of her life. A new Capote movie with Sandra Bullock is coming out. Sandra plays Harper Lee who was good friends with Capote from childhood. Lee says that the character of Dill was inspired by Capote. There is even a "rumor", if you will, that Capote wrote Mockingbird! At times he has denied it and at other times he hasn't. Hmm. *cough* phooey *cough* I thought this was very interesting information that I had never heard before. I also didn't realize that the movie "To Kill A Mockingbird" was made just one short year after the book's release. That would make it 1961, (I think) and 1961 America was definitely still very much segregated. It gives an interesting new take on the movie, don't you think?
At one point in the discussion, I had an 80 yr young lady on my right saying something and a 60 yr young lady disagreeing on my left. It was very interesting to hear life experience vs. education.
My favorite thing about the book was it's subtle promotion of unschooling ideas. Scout goes to first grade where she is told that she shouldn't be able to read, that Atticus (her dad) has tought her all wrong and that the dewey dicimal system is the only correct way for children to learn! Throughout the book Scout, Jem and Dill learn through playing together, reading with Atticus and being around people in their town. The only things they learn in school are not tought by their teachers, but by being around other children. I really liked this because I am leaning heavily towards unschooling my children.
All fun stuff! Next month: A Tree Grows In Brooklyn
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
wahn, wah, wahn
Yesterday, over dinner, Tuan repeated to me a conversation that he had with Emma that morning. Some neccessary background: Emma is nearly night-dry but still wears a pull-up, just in case. Back to the story! Emma will usually get up with Tuan in the morning and then come back to bed with Daniel and I for about an hour or so. So Tuan is usually the one to take her to the bathroom first thing after she wakes up. And of course, if you're Emma, you must remove your "jammy-pants", your "pull" and your "jammy-shirt". Then, you may go potty! When Tuan asked if she wanted to put her pull back on as it was dry, my little nearly-two-year-old replied: "No. Pull for pee night." What a cutie!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Monday, January 29, 2007
beep, beep, beep!
Does anyone have a caption for this picture? Am I just the meanest mom for taking it? Hee, hee.
I like to call it: "Just one more piece of candy, mommy, and I promise I'll go right to sleep!"
Saturday, January 27, 2007
mood eh bat!
Tell me if you can that this is not the most adorable picture ever! I just love babies little dimpled bums.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
wish, wish, wish
Guess what? My brother got married yesterday! Guess what else - no one knew until the day before!! Luckely, Tuan had the day off and so we drove down and saw him and Glen and two of my sisters and their family. Oh, and a wedding. Hee, hee.
I love this picture of Emma with my sister. Yes, she shaved her head. Yes, she looks HOT! She jokes that it looks like a Tibetan monk is playing w/ my daughter.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
wound eh wound
Dear avid blog readers: (I know there are some of you out there!)
I am starting a new title series. Emma really is a neverending wealth of inspiration. ;o) However, I'm not going to be revealing the title or subject of this new series until the end. A little game shall we!
I am starting a new title series. Emma really is a neverending wealth of inspiration. ;o) However, I'm not going to be revealing the title or subject of this new series until the end. A little game shall we!
Friday, January 19, 2007
I just poot!
Book Review: The Captain of Her Heart by Anita Stansfield
I am, what is the right word. Irritated? Frustrated? Livid? Disgusted? I am all of these in response to what I read in a novel tonight. A bit of light reading. I got it as part of a book exchange book group. It is a light romance novel set in the 1770's. It is really not very well written - many phrases or words blared 1990's. What made me feel all of the above was the scene of a home birth near the end. This author is the mother of 5 children, none of whom I respectfully surmise were born at home. There are no less than 4 accounts of characters being ever so glad for a doctor, even when a neighbor woman is there already helping out. Had male doctors really already taken over the women's place in childbirth in 1770? But I will share with you the gem of this paragraph. My apologies ahead to anyone whose birth experience may have been like the one she portrayed. Perhaps this does happen, but I will never believe it is the norm.
While he'd (the father) believed that this couldn't possibly get any worse, suddenly it was. Rather than coming and going, the pain became constant. She groaned and pushed, digging her fingers into his arms while she nearly went mad from the pain. She raged and protested, swearing that she couldn't possibly do this, and she cursed him for causing her so much trouble and grief.
WTH!! After b$%^g to Tuan about this for a bit I came to the conclusion that what really bothers me the most about this is that a romance novel aimed at a young female audience would have this bullspit in it. Who wouldn't read that as a teen and vow - "I'm never having babies! I'll just adopt! Sign me up for the epidural right now!" I will clarify - none of those things by themselves are bad. But I feel that girls/women who decide to do them because this kind of info about childbirth was constantly fed to them through these kind of books are in a way robbed of their rights of birthing. There is so much more that I want to say and rehash, but that's probably enough to get my feelings across.
One final thought. I felt very dis-empowered as a woman after reading this book. I will not be reading any sequels or recommending it to anyone I feel very strongly about this. Had I not stumbled upon the correct information, (thank God for you, Sarah!) I would have been a victim to this kind of propaganda.
On a lighter note! Tonight while Tuan and I were discussing a chapter in Alma with Emma, she wandered into the bathroom and played for a minute or so with the door mostly closed. I know that she gets some of what I say even if it seems she isn't listening, but I was especially tickled when she opened the door and in the middle of my thought said "uh-huh! uh-huh" While vigorously nodding her head. It was adorable and I told her that she was about the most adorable thing I had ever seen. No sooner had I finished saying this than she pushed out quite a loud poot! I started cracking up but soon completely fell down laughing when she ran over to us declaring "I just poot!" Now, I may enjoy an occasional cathartic release myself, but I don't suppose I am quite as proud of them as Emma is!
I am, what is the right word. Irritated? Frustrated? Livid? Disgusted? I am all of these in response to what I read in a novel tonight. A bit of light reading. I got it as part of a book exchange book group. It is a light romance novel set in the 1770's. It is really not very well written - many phrases or words blared 1990's. What made me feel all of the above was the scene of a home birth near the end. This author is the mother of 5 children, none of whom I respectfully surmise were born at home. There are no less than 4 accounts of characters being ever so glad for a doctor, even when a neighbor woman is there already helping out. Had male doctors really already taken over the women's place in childbirth in 1770? But I will share with you the gem of this paragraph. My apologies ahead to anyone whose birth experience may have been like the one she portrayed. Perhaps this does happen, but I will never believe it is the norm.
While he'd (the father) believed that this couldn't possibly get any worse, suddenly it was. Rather than coming and going, the pain became constant. She groaned and pushed, digging her fingers into his arms while she nearly went mad from the pain. She raged and protested, swearing that she couldn't possibly do this, and she cursed him for causing her so much trouble and grief.
WTH!! After b$%^g to Tuan about this for a bit I came to the conclusion that what really bothers me the most about this is that a romance novel aimed at a young female audience would have this bullspit in it. Who wouldn't read that as a teen and vow - "I'm never having babies! I'll just adopt! Sign me up for the epidural right now!" I will clarify - none of those things by themselves are bad. But I feel that girls/women who decide to do them because this kind of info about childbirth was constantly fed to them through these kind of books are in a way robbed of their rights of birthing. There is so much more that I want to say and rehash, but that's probably enough to get my feelings across.
One final thought. I felt very dis-empowered as a woman after reading this book. I will not be reading any sequels or recommending it to anyone I feel very strongly about this. Had I not stumbled upon the correct information, (thank God for you, Sarah!) I would have been a victim to this kind of propaganda.
On a lighter note! Tonight while Tuan and I were discussing a chapter in Alma with Emma, she wandered into the bathroom and played for a minute or so with the door mostly closed. I know that she gets some of what I say even if it seems she isn't listening, but I was especially tickled when she opened the door and in the middle of my thought said "uh-huh! uh-huh" While vigorously nodding her head. It was adorable and I told her that she was about the most adorable thing I had ever seen. No sooner had I finished saying this than she pushed out quite a loud poot! I started cracking up but soon completely fell down laughing when she ran over to us declaring "I just poot!" Now, I may enjoy an occasional cathartic release myself, but I don't suppose I am quite as proud of them as Emma is!
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Here comes!
Do you believe in resurrection? Don't get all philosophical on me - yes or no? I believe in resurrection. (note - please don't take this too seriously!) The resurrection of the most annoying toy ever!! While we were staying with my sister, her daughter came into the position of one toy phone. Voila - Emma loved the phone and soon having only one phone and two toddlers became a problem. So, not having tons of money to blow, I found Emma a toy phone at a dollar store. It had, excuse me, has the most annoying sound bytes I have ever heard. With the push of a button you are subjected to a clip of barbie techno-disco-whatever-it's-called that plays for a good 15 seconds. If your child loves this "music", 15 sec is then repeated over and over again. But hey, problem solved - no more fights over a toy phone. So we move into our new apartment and the phone craze kind of dies out with the cheap batteries. The phone is, ahem, "lost" and all is well. Then I find myself laboring in our birth pool 3 short hours from giving birth to Daniel. What do I hear? Na, na, nah, na, na, na, na, nah! During labor! Where did it get the extra juice? I had Tuan put the kibosh on that one pretty fast, let me tell you! Daniel is born and the phone is "lost again". Well, today the phone somehow re-appeared. Ugh. Emma loves music and after nearly every song on a cd will ask "wherza da next dong?" I tell her that it is coming, just wait. And when it starts I say "Here it comes". Now Emma is playing with the phone and I hear the tunes get lower and lower and slower and slower. Yea! The battery is finally giving up the ghost. She asks me "whereza da next dong?". "I'm sorry Emma, the batteries must be dead". 2 min later I hear "here comes, here comes"! What do you know, the phone is resurrected and producing it's lovely sound bytes once again . . . and again . . . and again! This thing just won't die. It's like my own personal cockroach!
Sunday, January 14, 2007
I'm eating my feelings!
At the height of my cold, I made some cupcakes. What kind of cupcakes? Well, I like to call them "I'm eating my feelings" cupcakes! I also made "I'm eating my feelings" no-bake cookies and "I'm eating my feelings" marshmallow croissants. Don't worry, this was all over the coarse of three days. Ugh, so much for losing weight! And speaking of losing weight - tell me if this is a connundrum. I am despising this spare tire around my waist and trying desperatly to get rid of it. This hated 'spare tire' is what would save my baby's life if I was to suddenly be without food. It is my biological protection for my child, yet I hate it and want to rid myself of it. Ok, I have made myself dizzy. I guess I will just say that I am grateful for it, but want to get rid of it at the same time and leave it at that!
Friday, January 12, 2007
Final Chapter: Popper Teese
Fear not, my avid blog readers! You know that I would not leave you hanging on the final chapter of my series. Well, not forever anyway! My appologies for making you wait this long. Any guesses as to which kind of cheese this is? Here is Emma enjoying some:
Not the best picture, I know but our camera is curently on the fritz and I used our phone to take this one. Ok, give up? Emma's favorite (at least for now) cheese is parmesan cheese. This girl seems to be constantly eating it! I love the way she asks for "more popper teese"! Actually, because I have waited so long to post this, she is now also calling it pommer teese.
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