I have put together a little quiz for your enjoyment. Or perhaps for your frustration! Do, please enjoy. http://www.testriffic.com/friendtest/2942313

Emma's birfyday cate!

As embarassed as I am to admit this, here goes: We celebrated Emma's birthday yesterday. And if you don't know why I'm embarassed to admit that, I sure ain't gonna tell ya! This post will have lots of pictures so indulge me. Perhaps some of you like the pictures better than the silly stories. If so - this one's for you!

This is the birthday cake I made for Emma. I made a two layer white cake with my Grandma's homemade current jelly sandwiched between the layers, covered in orange cream cheese frosting (tinted pink) and silk flowers. Sheesh, that sounds like a wedding cake description! I was rather pleased with the final result - and it didn't taste half bad either!

I think Emma liked it too.

It was much less messy than last year! For comparison:

Emma enjoyed helping Daddy blow the balloons up.

And Daniel enjoyed playing with them!

This wooden birthday cake was her gift from my dad. It came with a server, a knife, a platter, eight colored wooden candles and there are spots for a candle on each piece. Emma LOVES it. Hopefully within the year I will be able to save up enough to get Emma and Daniel a wooden play kitchen with all the necessary amenities.

If you look in the background of this picture you will see the wooden sewing machine she got. Now while I am sewing she can use her own instead of constantly changing the stitch length and tension on mine!

Unfortunately she will have to grow a bit more to be able to use the wooden trike she got. Right now she loves having her Daddy push her around on it.

From the fridge!

Statue of Mary feeding Jesus

Argentina, In front of a local Catholic curch
Picture taken by my brother who is currently traveling South and Central America

Yesterday I was leafing through a pamphlet I got about 2 year olds and their eating habits. It was mostly mindless drivle. One of the sections that I glanced at suggested that 2 year old are now ready to learn where food comes from. It used the examples of apples coming from trees and milk coming from a cow. Since Emma gets more milk from me than from a cow, I decided to ask her where milk came from. In a common sense, matter-of-fact tone that only a 2-year old can manage so well Emma informed me that milk came "from the fridge", silly! I nearly fell over laughing as this was definately not the reaponse I was expecting. Tuan then asked her where "mommy-milk" came from and she pointed and explained "from a nipple".

oh, tap!

Can you guess what I say perhaps too often?

Madonna and Child

Museo Diocesano

11th century

I was reading a friends blog (hallo, Carolyn!) and got tagged with this. Enjoy!

A to Z: All About Me

Available or not: Nope - 4 years in May
Best friend: Tuan
Cake or pie: cake - until I learn to make a good pie. Then it will be both!
Drink of choice: Water
Essential items used daily: pump, computer, toothbrush
Favorite color: pretty ones
Gummy bears or worms: sour gummy worms
Hometown: Ponca City, Oklahoma
Indulgence: homemade white flour pancakes with blueberries or chocolate chips if I'm extra naughty. :o}
January or February: February - My daughter's birth month
Kids and names: Emma (2) and Daniel (4 mos)
Life is incomplete without: My family
Marriage date: May 27, 2003
Number of siblings: 10 - Allen, Eric, Theresa, Brian, Cindy, Kevin, Dale, Sarah, Glen and Me!
Oranges or apples: Juicy oranges and slightly wrinkly apples
Phobias or fears: being left alone
Quote (favorite): Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. Voltaire Research your parenting choices!
Reason to smile: Seeing both of my children asleep next to each other. Or on different beds. Heck - just seeing them both asleep is a reason to smile!
Season: Fall - I love the colors
Tag 3 people: You, you and you!
Unknown fact about me: Baking helps me to feel better. At one point our freezer contained 4 doz cookies, 1 doz cinamon rolls, 2 loafs of bread and 2 doz muffins!
Vegetables you don't like: cauliflower
Worst habit: yelling
X-rays: airport security? ;o)
Your favorite food: anything my father-in-law makes
Zodiac sign: Virgo

diptures and pears

Study of Madonna Nursing and Profile Heads
LEONARDO da Vinci
c. 1480

Are you curious? You must read the entire post to find out what this title means. Or, I suppose you could just scroll down - shame on you! ;o)

Yesterday I made significant progress in losing weight. I hadn't planned on the extra exercise I got in, but hey, I'll take it where I can get it. I suppose I should include some background information.

"Hello, my name is Maria and I am a lock-my-keys-in-my-keys-in-the-car-aholic."

I do this quite often and always swear never to let it happen again. I am particularly bad when pregnant. Last year I locked the keys in the car 3 times in one week prompting me to pee on a stick. It was positive! (don't get your hopes up - I have already checked - negative!) So yesterday Emma and I head out to the craft store to pick up a few things for her b-day presents. I stick my keys in my bag and then get her out of her seat. As I turn around and close the door, I realize that I cannot hear my keys jangling. I walk around the car and see my keys winking up at me from their comfy spot on the driver's seat. "Hi! Have fun getting back in without us!" Well, nothing could keep me from the craft store so we went on in, shopped and when we were done we headed back home via foot. It's not super far - probably only about 2 miles. But I was kicking myself all the way home (I'm very talented!) for not having my mei-tei with me. But Emma was really great about it all and promptly nursed to sleep once we were home. The hard part was finding someone who could give me a ride back to the store! Perhaps this latest escapade will finally kick my rear into gear to get the spare key installed on the outside of our vehicle. Maybe. Possibly. Next time I think about it. When I'm waking home again?

Every night after Emma's bath we sit on our bed and read in the scriptures. Then we say a family prayer and Emma nurses to sleep. Every night Emma comes out of the bathroom and announces to me that it's time for "diptures and pears". It just doesn't get any cuter than that!

*From the Desk of Tuan and Maria re clarification and response

I am so glad that my personal blog is able to host a discussion on this very important subject. However, some clarification needs to be made in order to keep the discussion on track and accurate.

This issue is about my right to breastfeed my baby without using a blanket, outside of the offered mother’s lounge and the sexualizing of nursing.

With regards to my breastfeeding: Any time I nurse my child in a public environment, gratuitous nudity is the farthest thing from my mind. I am concerned with my baby’s needs being met and keeping my breast and stomach covered as best as they can be in that order.

With regards to my husband’s and my meeting with the bishop: We are not publicly denouncing or criticizing our bishop. This is Maria’s personal blog and while it can be found by performing a Google search, we have done no advertising of it. The only people in our ward who are aware of any of this mess are the bishop, the Relief Society president, the people directly involved and those they may have consulted. Handled properly, the Relief Society president most likely would not even have had to be bothered. And as far as the bishop, we still sustain him – we’re not asking for him to be excommunicated or released. We are not even asking other people to breastfeed openly. We are just defending our individual right and helping others understand if needs be.

There is no statement official (or unofficial) about breastfeeding “uncovered”. In all the number of church talks/articles given about pornography, not one has ever mentioned anything about breastfeeding. Also, the state of Utah where the prophet and a host of members reside has a law that gives and protects the right to breastfeed uncovered.
I personally believe that Eve was asked of the Lord to make an apron - not an apron and a shirt while Adam remained in just an apron. The Lord never intended for a woman’s breasts to be thought of as sexual objects.

Anonymous and Husband:
*The only “facilities” required to nurse a child is a lactating breast.
*The time and place for nurturing my child is right when and where my child needs it – not right where, when and how indifferent people would like it.
*I take great pride in being a Mormon feminist. What, may I ask is wrong about being a “Mormon feminist”?
“What more could a Bishop hope for than a woman in his congregation to point out to him when he may be missing the point of the Spirit's promptings. Who needs the priesthood?”
*It is not the bishop’s priesthood that determines his spiritual promptings but rather his calling as bishop and his personal worthiness to receive revelation for his ward. Had the bishop even said "I have prayed about this (he never specifically mentioned praying about it) and the issues in this ward at this time necessitate nursing moms to use a blanket or the lounge." it would then be a no-brainer that this ward is not for us and we can move on to a different ward. But to just state that it is INAPROPRIATE to nurse uncovered in sacrament meeting doesn't relay spiritual promptings to me. Instead, it was presented as a trigger for pornography problems and a cultural preference.
*In regards to the smoking comparison: It isn't like I am inviting him to join me! For example, a smoker is on his way to work and passes a few people smoking on the way. They aren't asking him to join; they're just doing their own thing. But he needs to learn how to keep himself from being tempted by the sight.
“This issue is about modesty when breast feeding, NOT ABOUT THE RIGHT OF A MOTHER TO BREAST FEED, so stop taking offense and get over it.”
*(Italics mine) Interesting that I am told to “stop taking offense and get over it” when this problem has only been dumped in my lap because other people were offended by my discreet nursing! Because of how things have turned out, we feel as though we are on parole or probation, being watched for the slightest bare skin how ever incidental or insignificant it may be. Definitely, that is not the type of spirit that you want to be feeling at a church meeting or activity.

Happy 2nd Birthday Emma!

We love you!

*From the Desk of Tuan

My beloved friends,

I welcome this opportunity to say a few words about the very excellent comments to which we have read and pondered. Good counsel has been given from which we and others can benefit immensely. I am grateful for the emphasis on the acceptance of breastfeeding in general. How marvelous a thing it is to contemplate the divinity and design of womanhood. I wish you to know that we appreciate your love and concern.

Let me make it clear that I do love my wife Maria and our children tremendously. And I wholeheartedly support her in this effort. At times, I have a twinge of jealousy when I witness the special bond that she has with our two dear children, Emma and Daniel. But how comforting it is to have the knowledge that it is a mutual love shared both ways from mother to child and from child to mother.

Obviously, the meeting with our bishop left us disappointed and frustrated. Please understand that we both have great respect for this man. Though, at times, he can be quite patriarchal. But that is to be expected to a point considering his calling and fatherhood to his own children. The meeting went in circles with no resolution or compromise. It seems that having consulted with the stake president beforehand, the bishop was set on standing firm and steadfast to the counsel received from a higher authority. Maria’s suggestion of education, i.e. hold a fireside for youth and parents about the evils of pornography and the true purpose and design of the human body, was met with opposition because of the possibility that it may be perceived as agreement to breastfeeding without a blanket.

The one part of the conversation that bothered me most was when we were discussing cultural acceptance. From his experience and circle of influence, breastfeeding “openly” is not accepted in our region or in the Midwest where he served his mission. Maria explained that this is a perfect opportunity to educate and change the cultural perception of breasts to one in which God intended – the nurturing and comforting of children. The bishop replied saying that we cannot change a culture. To which, I replied that the change can begin with one. However, he reiterated that one cannot change a whole culture.

What a hopeless feeling! How insignificant is the one? Alone in action and thought? What difference can one possibly make among hundreds, thousands, even millions? I would think that any member of this Church would say that the one is very important and holds a great potential as a child of God. You only need to look at the restoration of the gospel and the establishment of this Church to see the importance of one young man and his courage among persecution and tribulation. And let us never overlook the great sacrifice of the Chosen One who made the Atonement possible. This Church, this gospel, brings hope to each person – a hope that we are special, that Heavenly Father still cares for us.

Perhaps, I have too much trust in the strength and courage of the human soul. But I must and do believe that there is a divine nature within each of us. We have such tremendous potential with that quality. Everyone was endowed by our Father in Heaven with a tremendous capacity to do good in the world.

For those that do struggle with pornography or any other problem, let us train our minds and our hands that we may be equipped to serve well in the society of which we are a part. Let us refine within ourselves the divine qualities and attributes which we have inherited. May we rise above any ill feelings or contention, and allow the light within to shine through as a radiant expression of God’s purpose and design. Though it may seem daunting as the one among hundreds, thousands, even millions, may the seeds we plant today change one heart, one mind…one culture.

I thank you for the goodness of your lives, for the desire within your hearts to do the right thing, for the fact that you are prayerful and kind and good.

Sincerely,
Tuan(The frog that Maria transformed into a prince with her loving kiss)

Madonna Nursing

Albrect Durer

1519

Well friends - the news is not very good. *sigh* My bishop did indeed send the RS pres to my home. I'm not exactly sure how to re-cap the evening, but I made a list of things we agreed on and things we disagreed on.

Agree:

*Nursing is not pornagraphy

*This issue is not entirely mine

We disagree on:

*He (and the stake pres agrees) feels that nursing in Sacrament Meeting is only appropriate with a blanket.

*He feels that any incidental flash of skin resulting from my nursing will/could be a 'trigger' for a man dealing with pornagraphy issues. Sort of like dangling a ciggy in front of a recent quitter. What about ppl with foot (or other often exposed body parts) fetishes? No one is being asked to keep their feet covered all of the time.

*When pressed, he found that the only solution in this issue in for me to use a blanket to "cover myself" while I nurse in mixed company - RS is not an issue.

*It is obvious that to him my refusal to use a blanket (while reiterating my efforts to always be as discreet as possible) clearly shows a lack of respect/understanding/cooperation/considration/compromise on my part

*He asserts that there are two ways to nurse - in the mother's lounge and "covered" (using a blanket). The third would be "uncovered" (his term).

*He and the rest of the ward can't possibly be the only ones with this negative and uncomfortable attitude towards nip. It's everywhere. (It is NOT in Oklahoma where I lived until just recently!)

*I assert that attitudes towards nip have indeed changed in the past 20 years

*He does not consider the normalizing of nip and breastfeeding in general to be a positive change.

*I CAN make a difference even though I am only one!

To sum up: He cannot force me to use a blanket, and I don't think that at this point he even knows what he would do if I continue as I have been. But he assured me I would be contacted should he later recieve a tip that an individual he is specifically working with on porn/infidelity issues has been negatively "affected" by my nursing "uncovered".

It seems to be an issue of exposed skin. If I nurse in the mother's lounge the odds that they might see any flesh are 100:1. If I nurse among them but using a blanket, the odds of maybe seeing flesh are then 50:1. Finally, if I nurse among them discreetly but without a blanket, the odds are suddenly 15:1 in favor of seeing skin. These are apparently odds they are uncomfortable with facing.

To quote a friend of mine "Why do we (society) insist on casting men as slobbering monsters just champing at the bit to rape and pillage. How disrespectful to one of God's creations to deny that they have free will and the ability to choose their own actions."

My wise sister told me that "when a person already is addicted to pornography, you cannot be held responsible for triggering that. Better not take any kids to church to trigger latent pedophiles. It's a slippery slope." I couldn't agree more.

One other thing he said is that if he were to declare as bishop of the ward that nursing in public without a blanket in mixed comp is NOT a problem, there would be a major fall-out. How rediculouse is it that a declaration that nursing naturaly and w/out shame would result in a spiritual calamity! It certainly does feel hopeless at this point.

"The scriptures often refer respectfully but plainly to the body and its parts. There is no embarrassment and often there is sacred symbolism. It is the world that makes the divinely created body an object of carnal lust. For example, it makes the female breasts primarily into sexual enticements, while the truth is that they were intended to nourish and comfort children. It promotes male sexual aggression in contrast to Christ’s example of tenderness, long-suffering, kindness, and steadfastness in the home.

Shame about the human body, its parts and purposes, is justified only when a person uses it for carnal purposes. Teach your children that they will find joy in their bodies when they use them virtuously after the manner taught by Christ."

A Parent's Guide, p. 37

found on the official church website

Emma bowseh

Just the other day I was looking something up on the internet when I heard the juiciest poots coming from one of my children! Quite surprised I turned and saw just what was making all of the racket. My 23 month old Emma was expertly blowing loud raspberries on my 3 month old Daniel's exposed tummy! After each blowfish, Daniel would giggle and smile while Emma proudly declared "Emma bowseh!" Coincidently, before Daniel was born Emma adored giving my swelling belly blowfish. Perhaps this is how she perfected the skill. Ahhh - the wonderful world of parenthood. I absolutely love it!

Check out this link. I find that unfortunately I am not alone in my recent experience.

http://www.feministmormonhousewives.org/?p=371

How has our society become so corrupted and screwed up?

If you are thinking - whoa, a two-year old said that? please let me clarify. I am not giving this post an Emma-ism title because it is a very serious post and not to be made light of.

Joel 2:16
Gather the people, sanctify the congregation, assemble the elders, gather the children, and those that suck the breasts: let the bridegroom go forth of his chamber, and the bride out of her closet. (King James version)



A while back, I read a thread on a message board about a mother and her friend who were accosted by their church over nursing myspace photos. These wonderful mommas were accused of "mentally raping" the men in their congregation by having "pornographic" pictures on their personal myspace accounts and nursing in church. I was so upset for them and proud of how they handled the attacks. Privately, I was so relieved that it wasn't me.

It is me now. I just received a visit from a member of my congregation. She (a woman, no less) came bearing cookies and the news that I was corrupting the "young men" in my congregation by nursing around them. She told me that even our bishop (head of the congregation) has been made "uncomfortable" and didn't feel up to telling me himself. After repeating that she is "all for nursing - nursed 4 children myself", I was left wondering - "why then did you not tell him to stop sexualizing the nursing of my children"? Or in other words - go stuff it! No, she left my house begging me not to be offended.

Apparently there have been several calls to the bishop by women in the congregation that they were concerned for their son's eternal salvation. (Ok, I don't really know what they said to him, but that's the gist of it.) All of the offended parties wanted her to ask me to hide my dirty self and my dirty act of nursing away from their precious son's pure eyes. Those are my words, again - you get the gist.

How did I handle this? I refused to agree to nurse in the bathroom - excuse me, "mothers lounge". I insisted that I was doing nothing wrong, immoral or pornographic. She actually dared to imply that by nursing my children I was being pornographic! I replied that it was very sad indeed that me doing the most natural thing in the world and using my breasts for their God given purpose was bothering them so much. I said that the youth need to see people breastfeeding as it is perfectly NORMAL!! I told her to consider me asked and after she left, I promptly threw the cookies into the trash. I have called the bishop and set up an appointment for Tuan and I to meet with him. Make no mistake, I will be prepared. I will not dissolve into angry tears in front of him. I will to be calm, collected and get my point across. This problem belongs to others. They are projecting their insecurities and archaic beliefs onto me.

One of the worst outcomes of this mess is that I don't know who complained about me to the bishop. And you know they would have had the guts to call him unless they were sure someone else felt the same way. So, yes, my breasts have been gossiped about. But who? My good friend sitting next to me. The sister that I never got along with? Maybe the sister I lent my EC book to. The ladies who are performing with me in a couple weeks? How can I not be hurt and offended?

This is NOT pornography! These are beautiful pictures of me nurturing and feeding my children.










Daniel - 5 minutes old

Emma (24 mos) & Daniel (4 mos)

Daniel - 1 month old

Emma - 21 months old

Mommy no baby nurse. Pat baby back.

Today Daniel rolled over! He has been toying with the idea for a week or two now. He would roll to his side and then get stuck on his arm. Today he was laying on his side and all of a sudden rolled to him tummy and popped his head up. He seemed quite proud of himself and wiggled around as if to show off. He sure is a handsome little guy, isn't he!

Daniel was feeling really tired this afternoon so I decided to nurse him and see if he wanted to go to sleep. Emma decided that Mommy needed to do something different. So she told me "Mommy, no baby nurse. Pat baby back." Well, I'm lazy and didn't feel like standing and walking around while patting Daniel's back. So I nursed him. And he fell asleep in 2 minutes!

Oh, bummer!

A few weeks back, I checked out a book from the library. It's called "The Best Mouse Cookie". I'm not a fan, lets just say. It's okay, but rather annoying. Emma LOVES it! After it went back to the library, she kept asking for the "mouse boot". I decided to order "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" for her birthday because I like it and it is a "mouse boot", if not the mouse boot. At least once each day, she will ask where the mouse boot is. I tell her that it is in the mail. "Oh bummer", she says! Emma knows that I check my e-mail to see if Tuan has left work yet and says "daddy come home" every time I get on the computer. Yesterday I got online and she said "daddy bring mouse boot". I told her that daddy didn't have the mouse book - "oh bummer!"

bus sing!

Ok - time is up! Have you guessed what the title series is about?

Emma has come up with her own way of requesting songs. She says the name of the song and then sing. So when she wants to sing "The Wheels On The Bus" she will say "bus sing".

Emma asked to have her leopard tied on her like I was slinging Daniel. A frequent request, as many of you avid blog readers know! So I tied it on and tried to get a picture. It's not the best as I was taking it myself, but you get the idea. Oh, and please ignore the crater of a zit on my chin! It really was too big to photoshop out! Hee, hee.

shh, shh, shh!

Last night I went to book club! The exclamation mark is used because it is the first one I was actually able to attend since moving. I had read at least 2 other books, but something always came up and I wasn't able to make it. I love reading and have really missed my Oklahoma book club.

It is a great book club and I had a wonderful time. The book that we read was To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. One member of the group brought an O magazine that had an article about/by Harper Lee. Surprising, because she has been relatively media silent most of her life. A new Capote movie with Sandra Bullock is coming out. Sandra plays Harper Lee who was good friends with Capote from childhood. Lee says that the character of Dill was inspired by Capote. There is even a "rumor", if you will, that Capote wrote Mockingbird! At times he has denied it and at other times he hasn't. Hmm. *cough* phooey *cough* I thought this was very interesting information that I had never heard before. I also didn't realize that the movie "To Kill A Mockingbird" was made just one short year after the book's release. That would make it 1961, (I think) and 1961 America was definitely still very much segregated. It gives an interesting new take on the movie, don't you think?

At one point in the discussion, I had an 80 yr young lady on my right saying something and a 60 yr young lady disagreeing on my left. It was very interesting to hear life experience vs. education.

My favorite thing about the book was it's subtle promotion of unschooling ideas. Scout goes to first grade where she is told that she shouldn't be able to read, that Atticus (her dad) has tought her all wrong and that the dewey dicimal system is the only correct way for children to learn! Throughout the book Scout, Jem and Dill learn through playing together, reading with Atticus and being around people in their town. The only things they learn in school are not tought by their teachers, but by being around other children. I really liked this because I am leaning heavily towards unschooling my children.

All fun stuff! Next month: A Tree Grows In Brooklyn

wahn, wah, wahn

Yesterday, over dinner, Tuan repeated to me a conversation that he had with Emma that morning. Some neccessary background: Emma is nearly night-dry but still wears a pull-up, just in case. Back to the story! Emma will usually get up with Tuan in the morning and then come back to bed with Daniel and I for about an hour or so. So Tuan is usually the one to take her to the bathroom first thing after she wakes up. And of course, if you're Emma, you must remove your "jammy-pants", your "pull" and your "jammy-shirt". Then, you may go potty! When Tuan asked if she wanted to put her pull back on as it was dry, my little nearly-two-year-old replied: "No. Pull for pee night." What a cutie!

bumpehy, bumpehy , bump!

This is Emma reading to Daniel. She may be singing to him as well - this is the cloth book that I made for her. The words are actually a song in our children's songbook - My Heavenly Father Loves Me. I really love this picture of them together.

beep, beep, beep!

Does anyone have a caption for this picture? Am I just the meanest mom for taking it? Hee, hee.

I like to call it: "Just one more piece of candy, mommy, and I promise I'll go right to sleep!"

mood eh bat!

Tell me if you can that this is not the most adorable picture ever! I just love babies little dimpled bums.

wish, wish, wish

Guess what? My brother got married yesterday! Guess what else - no one knew until the day before!! Luckely, Tuan had the day off and so we drove down and saw him and Glen and two of my sisters and their family. Oh, and a wedding. Hee, hee.

I love this picture of Emma with my sister. Yes, she shaved her head. Yes, she looks HOT! She jokes that it looks like a Tibetan monk is playing w/ my daughter.