She has a name!

Elizabeth "Beth" Anh

We named her after both of us. Elizabeth from me and Anh (Uhn), a common male/female Vietnamese name from Tuan.

Her birth story:

I passed 37 weeks gestation on Monday and my labor started Wednesday night as I was nursing Daniel to sleep. Each night I nursed him to sleep I would feel some braxton-hicks contractions but they would always fade away after I laid him down. This night the contractions were stronger and I put Tuan’s hands on my belly so that he could feel their strength. They were about 30 min apart and only woke me a few times during the night.

On Thursday they were still about 30 min apart but were gradually getting stronger. Laboring in the birth pool during Daniel’s birth was so wonderful that I was really looking forward to it for this birth. However my birth pool wasn’t scheduled to arrive until Friday. So with each contraction I told Beth to hold on and wait for the pool to arrive. They woke me a few times again during the night. Friday morning I was still sure that I was experiencing prodromal labor and Beth wouldn’t come for a few more weeks. The contractions were strong enough that I was actively working with and through them. I checked the progress of the birth pool and found out that it was delayed until Monday! I. was. not. happy! When Tuan got home from work I sent him out with the kids to get a few things we still needed for the birth – straws, shower curtain for the bed and floor, fish net, aspirator. I’m not sure why I left fish net on the list as I was expecting a land birth this time as the birth pool was not here. I’m glad I left it because Tuan did need to use it since I got my waterbirth after all!

While they were gone I labored in the tub and then tried to take a nap. I got bored of just working through contractions and logged on to a contraction timer to keep track of them. At 7pm they were ranging from 3-6 min apart and lasting from 30 sec to 1 ½ min. Tuan came home with the kids and I started playing garbage (card game) with Emma. When a contraction would start I would tell her to click the start button and the stop button when it was over. Tuan kept Daniel occupied – not really sure what they were doing!

I got into the tub again and Em got in with me while Tuan lit several tea candles and turned off the light. Around 10:30 Daniel conked out on the bed – I remember thinking – hmm where will I give birth if D is asleep in the bedroom. Em left the tub and went to watch a movie with Tuan. I got out of the tub and moved the candles to the kitchen where I labored for another hour or so. I told Tuan that it felt so surreal to know that our baby was coming now and would be born soon. In fact I was still a bit in denial that this was actually “it” – I think that those thoughts/feelings were prolonging my labor. So with each contraction I would tell Beth how excited we were to meet her and how she could come any time now.

As time passed I was feeling very tired and frustrated. I ran through my mind the scenario of a hospital transfer. I knew that even if I wanted to (not needed to) it wouldn’t work. We had no one to tend Em and D meaning Tuan would be with them and not me and we hadn’t yet ordered Beth’s and Daniel’s new car seats. (If I ever felt that for Beth’s and my safety we would need to transfer these things would not stop or hinder us.) I also told myself that with Emma’s labor I lost confidence in myself and went to the hospital and asked for an epidural at 8 centimeters dilated which prolonged my labor and hindered my pushing to the point of a forceps aided delivery. I would not let that happen again.

I moved into the living room and asked Tuan for a blessing. He blessed me with strength to do what I needed to do. I felt better even knowing that the strength promised could be to deal with either a hospital transfer or the last stage of labor. I asked Tuan for some food. What did I want, he asked. A bell pepper please. Just cut it in half, pull out the seeds and hand it over! It was good.

I decided to move back into the bath where I would get a few moments of sleep in between contractions. I started to feel a bit pushy so I called for Tuan. I told him how I was feeling and asked if he could stay in the room with me. So he got Emma set up with a movie in the kitchen where she could still see him. I started pushing and he brought Em in the room with us. She wasn’t wearing any clothes so I wish I had told her and Tuan to get in the water with me. I suppose I had other thing on my mind right at that moment though. After only a few pushes Emma watched as Beth was born and Tuan helped lift her up to my chest. Daniel slept through it all. The water really was not deep enough for the best water birth experience and she got a bit chilled half in and out of the water. So we moved to the bed – Daniel still zonked on the bed. I delivered her placenta a few minutes later. In my research on preventing post-partum hemorrhage one of the best and most immediate remedies was placenta. I had Tuan cut off a pill size piece and I chased it down with some water. I took some rescue remedy as well. About 15 minutes later I felt like I wanted some more placenta so I had another piece. Placenta is also very helpful in cases of post-partum depression so I have some saved in our freezer (properly labeled of course!) in case I feel I need it. With Beth we decided to have a lotus birth. This is the practice of not cutting the cord ever – just letting it fall off while still connected to the placenta. We cleaned the rest of the placenta off and packed salt and lavender into it. Then we wrapped it and the cord. I think that in the future I won’t do a full lotus birth again. I would like to wait at least 24 hours before cutting the cord but not longer. The reason is that while the placenta was wrapped a bit bulky (we would know how to do better next time) it just delayed EC. As soon as her cord fell off (3 days I think!) I caught my first poo in the sink! EC has really taken off since and is going great!

I feel sad that the birth I had pictured and looked forward to didn’t happen. I wanted to videotape it and have Daniel, Emma and Tuan all in the pool with me to help catch. There are no pictures of me in labor and none of the birth. Tuan was awesome and grabbed the camera for some pictures right after she was born.

In short - Beth’s birth was nothing that I had pictured or planned but it was exactly what it needed to be for her and me.