Two weeks ago I had a very vivid and tramatic nightmare that Tuan had been killed.
On Saturday a 25 year old woman died tragically in a car wreck in Kansas.
On Sunday I talked with a mom who lost her daughter at the age of 8 to diebetes.
I also met our new neighboor whose husband died 3 weeks ago.
I didn't know the 8 year old. I didn't know my neighboor's husband. But I knew the 25 year old woman in the car wreck. Renee was one of my best friends from college.
One week ago on July 30 I got a surprise message from Renee. We wrote back and forth with her last message coming on August 3. She died on August 4th, probably never getting my reply.
I believe that everything that happened in the last month was a preparation for the phone call I received on Monday.
None of this does justice to how I feel though. I didn't feel anything on Saturday. I heard on Monday. It is Tuesday somehow. The world didn't stop turning. Why didn't the world stop turning? Renee is gone! Why doesn't everyone know? Why isn't everyone sad? Why is the world oblivious to the passing of such a wonderful person? Renee was my friend when I felt like a person no-one would befriend. She gave me self-confidence. She made sure I made it through 5 semesters of music theory and 3 semesters of music history - subjects I am woefully bad at. She taught me how to paint my toe-nails and dye my hair. She taught me how to be a better musician. She helped me to be a better person.
Our family will be travelling to her funeral this weekend so I won't be updating for a bit. Thank you for your prayers and thoughts.
Renee
December 1981 - August 2007
I love you.
5 comments:
I am so sorry for you and all of Rene's family and friends. We will be saying lots of prayers that you all may have the comfort you need. I have felt that wonder at the world going on and it is so difficult to just go on with life. We love you all and are here for you!
Maria my heart is breaking for you! i am so sorry
My thoughts and prayers are with you. I vividly remember when I lost my dad back in 1999. I find that it helps to write down your memories of time you spent together, perhaps even put together a scrapbook of sorts (pictures, letters, etc) that represents what an important person Renee was to you. If you need to talk, I'm here. love you.
Maria,
You wrote a beautiful, fitting tribute, and the picture was lovely. My thoughts are also with you and Renee and her family.
KC
Maria, I'm sorry this happened to your close friend. When someone I know dies, I often feel dazed that I am still here and life is going on, even though they are not here. I pray that you and all Renee's loved ones will have peace and continue to feel her influence throughout your lives. Hearing of the good person she is inspires me to lift others more. What better tribute could a person receive?
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